This is a letter from a mistress to a wife I received, among many, that came in after I had already made my final selections. I hope you all will share your feelings about what this woman had to say on the subject of adultery, and being “the other woman.”
Let me just start off by saying I don’t think this is going to help anything, but I wanted to write this letter to you on behalf of us women that have nothing to apologize for. Let’s make this clear, your husband cheated on you not me! I don’t owe you a godd** thing! I gave him what he clearly wasn’t getting from you. Before you go trying to blame me maybe you should take a good look at yourself. There would be no me if you were taking care of your husband’s needs! You don’t get to judge me while ignoring the fact that you have a part in this too. You’re not innocent. I’m not saying you deserve to be hurt or cheated on, yeah he should just divorce you rather than be a jackass cheater, but I’m sick of wives playing the victim when you know you can do more to help your marriage. Men need sex, plain and simple! That’s not new and when you got married you were committing to taking care of each other’s needs. I won’t act like I know what’s going on behind your closed doors, and no I don’t believe most of what he told me about you because I realize he just wanted some side p****, but I have lived long enough to know there are 3 sides to every story and wives are not 100 percent innocent when they hold out sex or use sex to exercise control over their husbands. There has always been and will always be adultery. There will always be a me when wives think they can stop f****** their husbands just because they got the ring. Take care of your man, and when you do that THEN you might have room to judge me, but until you truly are 100 percent innocent stop playing the victim. It’s just sex! I mean we don’t love each other or anything like that. He comes home to you so that must mean something right? Your problem isn’t with me or any other woman your husband is f******, your problem is him and yourself!
I’m Not the Problem
This being a letter from a mistress to a wife is a perfect example of the little to non-existent sympathy that so many women have for other women. Adultery is far more than “just sex.” This must be one of few women that have never been cheated on – or perhaps she’s been cheated on so much that it has numbed her to its emotional destruction; if you’ve been cheated on, I don’t think you can see sexual betrayal as “just” anything. It is what it is…a devastating betrayal, by BOTH parties!
The plague of betrayal that women continue to heap upon one another in this day and age where we hold up our unity as a gender for all the world to see – while still having the emotional maturity of the little girls we once were on the playground as we hated on each other over the new boy on the playground at recess, is sad to me. Either our unity is completely fraudulent, or this continued betrayal of one another is really just an ego game with no winners.
This woman’s mindset that there would be no her if the wife was taking proper care of her husband is exactly why infidelity continues to be the top reason for our 50%-plus divorce rate. We should know by now that it doesn’t matter how devoted a wife (or husband) may be, the selfish person is unfaithful because of their own internal issues.
Beyonce asked…who run the world? The answer in her snappy chorus is, GIRLS! I ask, is that reality? Can that possibly be true if we are still our own worst enemy as a gender? If that is ever to be true ladies, we have to do better by one another.
I know my upcoming book,”Woman to Woman,” will not change every woman’s way of thinking about one another; nor will it instill that key factor of loyalty in every woman that I believe is needed amongst us, but I have to believe that the majority of my sisters still have a heart, and truly want to be a part of the continued betterment of ourselves as individuals, as well as for our sisterhood.
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