“I know that I told you that I would never contact you again and expect that you believed that. I have many reservations about even writing to you, realizing that it isn’t likely that anything satisfying will come from it.
As you are aware, I know about the affair that happened between you and my husband. At first, I only knew some of what happened, but as time went on, I learned a lot more. Some was by “H’s” admission, and some I learned by becoming a detective.
You both lied to me (and of course to each other) for a very long time.
You certainly didn’t seem to have any remorse or regret for what you did to me and how you constantly pursued my husband. I am aware of your attempts to try to get him to leave me, but the reality is, he never would have done that.
I can’t imagine it ever felt good to be fed a few scraps now and then, and come to the realization that it was all just a sick game he played and you fell for it.
I can’t wrap my brain around the fact that you wasted several years of your life chasing after a man that you had to have known you could never have…and even though I feel confident that you don’t feel the shame for any of the terrible things you did to yourself or to me and “H,” you will have to carry what you did for the rest of your life.
I have wondered if you ever felt like telling your side of the story, although I can’t say it would make much of a difference. Once I found out about the affair, “H” dropped you like the bad habit you once were…with zero regret. Instead it was a relief to be free from it and you…you no longer had anything to hang over his head. No more threats to expose him. Instead the tables were turned, and YOU were the one that would suffer, at least monetarily…”
I think the only thing you regret is that you lost your income, and will never have anything close to that again.
A person with a degree like you have, earns a hefty sum of money in the USA, but for reasons unknown, you could not get or hold a job in your profession. I suspect you burned bridges there too, likely involving another woman’s husband.
I do believe in Karma, and know it can be unnerving…waiting, and wondering how it will play out for those who have wronged others ( you ) . Even if you try to convince yourself that you did no wrong, and you feel that you were somehow entitled to f*** a married man, the truth is, you will always carry this and it defines the kind of woman that you are. I can’t pretend that this hasn’t hurt me, clearly it has. But we are strong. Stronger than anything you will ever have. You will have to live with your poor life choices, and suffer the consequences as a result…”
This is just a little taste of what to expect from my upcoming book. This intense chapter will solely contain many real-life letters that wives have written, following my instructions to “speak” directly to the woman who got involved with their husbands – whether they knew the woman or not. You will experience a range of emotions as these wives release their hurt, their disappointment, their anger, and their forgiveness, all in an effort to heal.
While my book is speaking to, and about, the “other woman,” its main objective is to show how deep the impact of woman to woman betrayal goes, and how much power we give away when we do not stand loyal to one another.
On the same note, my goal is speak to women everywhere, to share vulnerability that will hopefully speak to those who find it sport to get involved with another woman’s husband.
Our sisterhood today is very fragile, and only when we restore the respect, compassion, consideration, and loyalty to one another, will we be able to truly run the world.
“Ladies, I do not have to know you in order to stand loyal to, and for you. The question is, will you do the same for me?”*
(*Excerpt from book: Quote from Author)
I truly hope you have enjoyed this weeks post. I welcome your respectful comments on this, or any other post. In fact, I would love to have your input. Leave your comments, and if you have enjoyed this post, please also subscribe to my once-a-week post in the appropriate section. Thank you all for your generous support.
For me I know deep in my heart that the affair I went through was a result of what was being said to the other woman. The affair was still wrong and I often ask myself why did she pursue it knowing he was married. I think those 2 years were one of the lowest painful paranoid times of my life and years later I retaliated by having an affair of my own with a elementary/ high school sweetheart. It solved nothing, just caused more pain, more confusion, and clouded judgment that I feel was purposely used by satan to break up my marriage and keep me from the truth. I have moved forward, we both have as Jehovah tells us not to dwell on the past or worry about tomorrow. I’m curious to read this book but truly worry that it will take you back and open fresh wounds all things satan will use to control you. Remember to hand things to jehovah and leave them there. This is the only real way to heal and move on.
Thank you pia1977. I truly sympathize with the pain you experienced. I can only imagine how you felt after getting involved in that tryst later. All I can say to that is that the pain can drive us to do things we would not normally do; and I am not making justifications, just saying I have an understanding. Thank you very, very much for your concern for me. I have definitely had my moments where the pain was just as much at that moment as it was all those years ago. To that end, I can say finally say that I AM healing. I truly appreciate your support. Continue to be well.
I want to keep this short an sweet.
I will admit this was very deep, out of this world painful.
I could never imagine for any women to stoop that low.
Let alone degrade herself.
I feel the pain, the hurt, the broken heart, even the fact you might never be able to trust again..
Thank you so much for these touching words..
Thank you Amanda for the positive feedback. You may not have realized, or I just didn’t make it clear, that that letter is not from me. My book will have real-life letters in it that women are currently sending to me to be publicized in my project. There are 2 intense, and distinct chapters in my book, one is tentatively titled “Letters from Wives to Mistresses,” and the other is tentatively titled, “Letters from Mistresses to Wives.” The ladies were instructed to write letters as if they are speaking directly to the other party whether they actually had interactions with them or not. So that letter I posted, came from a wife who has chosen to participate. They all understand that the book is a way for women to, in essence, “speak” to one another, with the common goal of instilling loyalty, so that we can strengthen the bonds of our sisterhood. It is way to heal as well, as we, the wives get to express our true feelings about the affair, and what we experienced knowing that another woman was part of putting that pain on us. The mistresses, well, some get to apologize, while others express little to no remorse, and feel that the wives hurt the sisterhood by blaming them along with the husband…many of them feel the man is solely to blame. So, yes, it is deep, and intense, but I hope my ultimate goal of sparking a healing of woman to woman relationships is accomplished. Thank you so much for taking the time to peruse my site. I will keep all my weekly posts on point for good reading. Thank you again for your kind and generous support!
[…] I had a great conversation with an old friend the other day, and she shared her devastating story with me about what she is going through in the aftermath of her husbands affair. During the conversation we were talking a little bit about the subject of my book, and when I said that my book is heavy on the subject of the mistress, and her culpability in the affair, my friends first reaction was to say, “no, it’s all his fault.” I absolutely agreed with her that the men are at fault, but when I got onto the subject of female loyalty, she agreed that women are to blame as well. She ultimately ended up expressing her anger at, and her deep resentment towards women who have no problem putting this pain upon another woman. So, you see my loyal readers, I know for a fact that I am not alone in my feelings on the matter. The letters that I am receiving from wives to be published in the book, the letters that are addressed directly to the other woman who got involved with their husbands – whether they know them or not – lets me know that a large portion of ladies feel exactly as I do. If you have not done so, please read the post, “Letter from a Wife to a Mistress.” […]