… I want you to know how good my life is with your husband.  I couldn’t care less about you or this Author’s attempt at bonding women.  I don’t feel bad, or guilty, and just so you know, I’m not going anywhere.

… The only reason he hasn’t divorced your ugly ass is because he knows how spiteful you are.

… . home is with me.  Although I have also used your beautiful house as my home too.  Straddling him in that ugly a** chair in your bedroom is a favorite place of ours.  You do keep a very tidy house.

… You and the Author of this book can judge me all you want because it will not change a thing.  I am not going to leave him in some dis-ingenuine attempt to bring women together.

This is only a portion of this mistress’s letter.  If you want to read the rest of it, you will have to wait for the book to be released.

You know, not much makes me angry, but I have to admit my initial reaction to this letter was a deep, primal anger.  I wanted so much to write her back myself to let her know what an utter disappointment she is to our female dynamic, as well as ask her what happened to her that made her hate women so much.  However, I remembered that I asked all of the women to give me their rawest feelings, and emotions as each group wrote their letters directly to the woman on the other side of the affair.  So, I had to let the anger go in order to try my hardest to find an inkling of comprehension from her point of view.  That does not mean that I in any way condone her actions, but it does mean that in order for us to strengthen this “Woman to Woman” dynamic, we have to really get to the crux of the issue, and in order to do that, we have to be willing to talk about it…really talk about it.

The woman that would eventually contribute to the final demise of my marriage hurt my heart so badly.  “Yes, my husband is the one who cheated.  Yes, he is the one who broke our vows.  Yes, he is the one who had the obligation of fidelity, but she is the one who actually broke my heart.”*  I want to tell you what she said to me, the entire reason for this book journey, but you will have to wait until the book comes out to find out what she could possibly have to said that shattered my heart, and prompted me to write this book.  What I will tell you is the pain of that time was so unbearable that if I write much longer, I will break down in tears right at this moment.  I am still healing, and it has been a number of years.  The pain does not just go away.  I did not “just get over it.”  My then husband was the absolute love of my life, whether he deserved my love or not.  My love for him was not based on his love for me.  My love was pure, and it was faithful, and the both of them broke my spirit.

Many people say they are happy if they can change just one person’s mind about a certain thing.  Well, I am not writing this book with the hope that it changes at least one woman.  I am writing this book to change us all!  Not that all of you have been cheated on, not that all of you have been a mistress.  However, we all have something in us that makes us not the best friend to one another that we can be.  I said it before, and I’ll say it again…I don’t have to know you to be kind to you.  Part of that kindness, with regards to my book, is not betraying you if your significant other tries to put the moves on me.  All I am asking is that you be willing to do the same for me, and every other woman.

I am still accepting submissions for my book, so if you have been the put upon wife, or have found yourself as “the other woman,” and you would like to contribute to this conversation, first know that your participation will be kept in the strictest confidence.  Letter submissions can only have those involved identified by initials, or first name only, or simply as anonymous.  Lastly, please do not reply via social media or here if you want to participate.  Please send an email to: womenrespectingwomen@yahoo.com, and someone will send you the instructions within 24-hours.

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(*Quote from book: “Woman to Woman: Letters from Wives to Mistresses”)