Backstabber: A Real-life Letter from a Wife to a Mistress

To my husband’s “other”:

I can’t even finish that greeting and call you a woman, because that’s a title for women who have respect for other women. It’s fitting to leave you as just the “other” because that’s what you were and what you’ll always be…the “other.” No man will ever make you his number one because you lack the self-respect men look for in real women.

I am BEYOND disgusted with this entire situation Kellie! I can only go so far as to use your first name, but I hope how you spell your name will be a dead give away to your identity. Every woman out there needs to know that you can’t be trusted as a friend, or around anyone’s man. I over-looked your history of being a slut because you convinced me you grew up. You said you weren’t the same girl looking for attention from men because of things you went through as a little girl. I bought your sob story. That’s what makes this worse for me. I gave you a chance. I let you in. Part of me feels like some of this is on me. How stupid was I to let a girl like you around my family? I’m having a hard time dealing with my anger towards you and my guilt for bringing you around. I think I should forgive my husband because I knew your reputation and yet I put you right in his face! I know he’s wrong and I’m dealing with him. This author said the focus of these letters is the women and trying to fix what’s wrong between us. Well clearly the problem between us is girls like you! Girls with no shame. Girls who don’t believe in God and girls who have nothing in life to lose. You want all women to be as miserable as you are. Unfortunately, you are very good at causing misery everywhere you go.

You’ve managed to make me hate myself when all I did was be your friend. I let you hold my kids and eat my food. I defended you to my other friends who warned me you would do exactly what you did! My friends distanced themselves from me because they could see something I couldn’t. They could see that you’re a two-faced bit** whore with no morals and no regret over the hurt you bring to anyone naïve enough to let you in! You made it so I’ll never trust another woman ever again! That’s the sad part. Most of us are trustworthy and wouldn’t dream of destroying another woman’s family. Real women don’t make plans to hurt little children by tearing their family apart. What’s wrong with you? What’s your real damage? I was your only friend and you do this? I wish I could hurt you just a fraction of the way you’ve hurt me because it would destroy you. You’ve brought tears to my kids, my mother, and my mother-in-law. I will never forgive you because you hurt so many others besides me. People who didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve it. Maybe I did. Maybe I got exactly what I deserved for not listening to everyone (and it was literally everyone) around me who said to keep you far, far away.

It may be too late for you to grow a heart. I can only hope that you find a man you love one day only to have some nasty witch come in and take him out from under you! You deserve all the heartache that will come. It’s the only way people like you ever know what you’ve done to others. I wish I could be bigger than to wish bad on you, but right now I can’t. You deserve whatever bad comes your way because you leave a path of destruction everywhere you go just because you can.

When you see me, look the other way and I’ll do the same. Do us all a favor and just stay to yourself like you were before I stupidly befriended you. You don’t belong with the rest of the human race until you grow a conscience and a heart. I’m so angry, but I’ll admit a lot of the anger is covering my hurt. I hate admitting that you’ve hurt me, but you have. You hurt many women in your life and I’m sure I won’t be the last.

I’m writing this letter to you Kellie, but it’s a letter for all you “women” who read it and think it’s ok to hurt other women this way. It’s not ok, and shame on all of you who think it is.


Thank you all for visiting my site today, and a very special thank you to all my loyal subscribers. As always, please leave a comment about this letter, or any of the other posts on my site.

During these distressing times, please know that I genuinely hope each one of you is staying safe and well. We’re in this together.


  1. Carolyn Black says:

    It sounds like to me you knew this friend from some time ago and she crossed the line a friendship with your husband and cause harm to you and your family I apologize for her for so many reasons and pray that your heart heals one day cheating is a painful reality but what I don’t get is how you continue tabash this woman and say you will never forgive her and then the same paragraph say that you forgive your husband who’s the very individual stood with you and God and took the most sacred words that was given an ordained by God then you take some blame of their cheating relationship I would say the devil is a liar why would you take blame for something that two individuals consent it to she did not destroy your marriage your husband destroyed you your marriage and family your friend only play the part that he allowed now let me share with you how I can say this to you… my first husband 20 years of marriage and he is deceased my second husband 11 years of marriage and we are divorced although I continuously forgave my husband for cheating and other things that took place in my marriage there were women who confronted them and they confronted women an individual in my family and my best friend both try to be with my husband he came and told me about the both of them my second husband the individual in my family told me he was trying to mess with her then others in my family told me he was trying to mess with my friend but because I already knew who he was they didn’t tell me nothing that I didn’t already know but my point is my family is still my family and my best friend is still my best friend why I don’t know I just thought if I could forgive him and continue to live and be married to him sleep and cook have sex do everything a wife does for her husband why not could I forgive them so I did I never bashed any woman try to fight or the Great any woman because my husband made the decision the step outside of our marriage every time I found out or I was told my second husband was with a woman I brought it straight to him until one day I realized a cheater is a cheater and it has nothing to do with me that’s a choice he may to allow other women to be a part of our God ordained Union and although it hurt Beyond measures I learned how to love me I learn how to take my power back I got my self-esteem back I took my respect back and I’ve been divorced going on almost 7 years and although he remarried one month after our divorce he is still a cheater how I know that he’s still trying to call me to see if he and I can be together but for almost 9 years I’ve never answer that phone call and never intend to I never knowed a leopard to change his spots you give your husband no accountability for his actions and when you give a person no accountability and there’s no consequences for the actions it has a way of repeating itself this letter has describe to me that you have no self worth you carry low self-esteem no peace you’re angry no self-love and you don’t know who you are my prayer is that you do forgive your husband and that you heal enough that you would trust him again one day and don’t allow fear to control you, you understand that you are good enough and more than enough and you don’t deserve to be cheated on God bless you is forever my prayer

    • LeTisha says:

      Hi Ms. Carolyn:

      This is LeTisha, the author of the upcoming memoir “Woman to Woman: Letters from Wives to Mistresses.” I want to thank you so much for voicing your thoughts and feelings to this wife, Pat. If you’re not aware, the reason these letters (there are others on my author site, are written to the other woman is that’s what they were instructed to do. Because my book is written specifically for women, I feel it’s important for us to have this very intense, and very uncomfortable conversation. Wives who wanted to participate in having their letter shared in my book were told to write their letter as if speaking directly to the woman who got involved with her husband, whether she knew the other woman or not. Mistresses were given the exact same instruction with regards to their letters to the wives. They were allowed to use initials or first names only. The purpose of this is to finally have an open and honest talk about the betrayal, hurt and devastation that we women are all too willing to HELP put on one another. I am one of those wives. I can assure that NO wife is lessening the responsibility of the husbands, but my book is not about our relationships with our husbands, it’s about our relationships within the female community. The goal of my book, despite its tone, is to strengthen our fragile sisterhood by instilling a sense of loyalty to it and making “Girl Code” stand for something again. This proved to be healing for the vast majority of women who submitted letters to me, and that’s also what I wanted to happen.

      I LOVE our extraordinary sisterhood, but it’s damaged. Only until we, as individuals, accept our part in WHATEVER contributes to our messed up “woman to woman” dynamic, will there be true healing of our sisterhood.

      I respect your input, and I am asking you to stay a part of this very important conversation. Please subscribe while you visit my author site so you’ll never miss the chance to share your respectful encouragement to other of our sisters.

      I wish you and all your loved ones well during these distressing times.

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