Woman to Woman – Please Stop Running into Burning Houses<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know some of you might offer up a debate by saying “well that was his relationship with her, I’m sure he treats his new relationship differently\/better.” You\u2019d really have to convince me that that\u2019s true. I’ve learned enough in my 32-years as an adult that while people can have different dynamics with other people, the core of who and what they are is the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I acknowledge that certain people can bring out a different side to people, both positive and negative. Yes, some people rub people the wrong way. But I have learned that the same thing that prompts a person to publicly insult one person is the same thing that prompts the same person to shower another partner with affection and a lot of times that can be chalked up to simple manipulation. Don’t you realize an abusive person at one time treated their previous partner with the same affections? It\u2019s my opinion that the new partner just hasn’t done anything they deem worthy of their bad side (or maybe they have, and we just don’t have it on a recording).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t know about you, but I\u2019m done with the dumb stuff! And if you think the purpose of me writing this piece is to try and talk you out of staying with someone you love who treats you (or any woman) with vapid disrespect, you would be right! I\u2019m speaking to you \u201cwoman to woman\u201d and I\u2019m saying it\u2019s enough with the excuses, justifications, rationalizations, and so-called reasons for why we put up with and stay with someone who shows abusive tendencies toward women.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m not going to fill this piece with statistics about how many of our sisters are living in homeless or domestic violence protection shelters, or how many reports of abuse against women by their partners are reported each day, but I am going to tell you that not a day goes by where I don\u2019t read that one, or more, women have been killed by their domestic partners. I need all of us to stop thinking \u201cit can\u2019t happen to me.\u201d I\u2019m sure many of those no longer with us said the exact same thing and now their families are left to deal with the questions we all ask, questions like \u201cwhy didn\u2019t she leave?\u201d or \u201cwhy didn\u2019t I do more to help her?\u201d or \u201cwhy didn\u2019t she ask for help\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My dear sisters, please don\u2019t leave your loved ones asking those same questions about you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some of you might believe that the love of a different partner can move someone to behave differently. Sorry, I don’t believe that. I think the only way a person makes long-lasting and genuine changes is through self-accountability and accepting full responsibility for their behavior. You’re not accepting responsibility if your answer to why you belittled a woman is “well she… or “I’m not usually like that but she…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Accepting responsibility sounds like “what I did was unacceptable AND I… not “but SHE…”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Forget about just wanting better <\/em>for ourselves ladies, let\u2019s start knowing we don\u2019t deserve anything less than the very best<\/em>, and if someone can\u2019t give us their very best, leave them alone\u2026immediately! No more allowing ourselves to be manipulated into accepting that someone\u2019s negative behavior or disrespect is our or the other person\u2019s fault \u2013 that\u2019s why it\u2019s called SELF control \u2013 and maintaining self-control is a choice. Women accepting excuses of inexcusable behavior have led to far too many of them ending up in physically abusive relationships, or worse. And yes, I speak from personal experience. I’ll share that story at some point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n No. More. Excuses! No. More. Justifications!<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you know someone has the tendency toward a pattern of disrespecting women, don\u2019t add your name to that list. Please don\u2019t revert back to teenaged thinking of “well that’s her” or “she must have…” or \u201che wouldn\u2019t do that to me,\u201d because then you’re playing the same blame game as the offender. Neither you, nor I, nor any other female deserves to be mistreated, disrespected, and\/or abused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ve written this piece because the rise in domestic violence against our sisters is astounding. The daily reports of women being killed by their partners is more than heartbreaking and I can\u2019t stay quiet about it any longer. We have to stop and be more careful about the person with whom we choose to have a relationship. No more waving off bad behavior as if it were just happenstance. No more using ourselves as the experimental mouse where we test the waters by staying with someone who is showing red flags from the start, in the middle or several years into our relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n These days ending these types of relationships from the very start can be the difference between getting out alive, or not. Please stop thinking you are an exception to the rule. It CAN happen to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I love all you sisters, and it\u2019s that love that keeps me speaking the truth with you whether you want to be one who makes excuses or not. I don\u2019t want to lose any more of you to an abusive partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, please take what I\u2019ve said to heart because I\u2019ve spoken out of genuine concern, I\u2019ve spoken out of love and I\u2019ve spoken to you \u201cwoman to woman.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I welcome your respectful feedback on this article or any of my pieces. Give me your opinions on this issue, or any other involving women and our sisterhood. Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Star of \u201cLove & Hip Hop Atlanta,\u201d Ms. Mimi Faust calls \u2018Woman to Woman: Letters from Wives to Mistresses\u201d \u201ccompelling and hard to put down.\u201d Award-winning Journalist & TV Host, Bridget Smith said \u2018Woman to Woman\u2019 is \u201ca freshly written exploration into the painful, and powerful impact of deception. Most importantly, this work examines the dynamic relationship women play in each other\u2019s lives.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Stay up to date with LeTisha by subscribing on her author site: https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Order your copy of \u201cWoman to Woman: Letters from Wives to Mistresses\u201d at: www.letishajackson.com\/shop<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Thank you all for your kind support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you or anyone you know is being subjected to domestic violence, PLEASE ask for help and reach out to the:<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"Writer](\"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/cropped-tisha-straightonheadshot-color-for-print-1-scaled.jpg\")
LeTisha is a published author and a Women\u2019s Empowerment Advocate. Through her recently released memoir, \u201cWoman to Woman: Letters from Wives to Mistresses,\u201d she has begun a true \u201cSisterhood Revolution\u201d whereby she exacts personal accountability, honest communication, and compassion in her efforts to draw women together and heal what she sees as a \u201cfractured sisterhood.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n