{"id":479,"date":"2019-09-15T16:58:18","date_gmt":"2019-09-15T16:58:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/?p=479"},"modified":"2019-09-15T16:58:18","modified_gmt":"2019-09-15T16:58:18","slug":"unfaithful-husband-interview-conclusion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/?p=479","title":{"rendered":"Unfaithful Husband Interview – Conclusion"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

In last weeks unfaithful husband Interview – Part I<\/a>, we left off where this husband was attempting to try and reconcile “loving” his wife while being a serial cheater. Let’s jump back in for my unfaithful husband interview – conclusion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: See that\u2019s where women have a HUGE problem.\u00a0 When a cheating partner professes to \u201clove\u201d their significant other. When did the definition of love change to include lying, cheating, degrading, disrespecting, shaming, etcetera, etcetera? Why do you think you get to just throw around that word as if saying you love her makes it true despite the fact that you\u2019re doing the complete opposite of what love really is?\u00a0 How can you say you love her when you\u2019re cheating on, and hurting her so badly?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Because even though I messed around, there is a whole other side to me.\u00a0 I show her love by taking care of her. I provided her with the house she wanted, and where she wanted it.\u00a0 I\u2019ve given her the car she wanted, the clothes she wanted, the social status she wanted. I make her laugh. I listen to her when she talks.\u00a0 So I know those things I do come from my love for her.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: And do you really not get that she would trade all those\nthings for your faithfulness?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(He paused for a few seconds)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: I don\u2019t care what anybody says, I love my wife.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: And you\u2019ve proven that how?  By lying to her? By marrying her under false\npretenses? By cheating on her? By allowing her to find out about your affair from\nthe other woman?  Which of those things\nis love?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: None of that is love, I get that. I\u2019m not stupid. I know that none of that is loving, but it still doesn\u2019t change the fact that I love my wife.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: When you love someone, you find a way to put there needs before your own.\u00a0 If you really loved your wife, you would have put her feelings, and your marriage vows before your ego, and your selfish desires.\u00a0 THAT\u2019S the true meaning of love. You don\u2019t\u2019 get to change the meaning of love because it sounds good.\u00a0 Love is real. Love is not a game. Adultery is not a \u201cmistake,\u201d which is another word people misuse time and time again, to deflect. Love is in what you do, not in what you say. And your actions are anything but loving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: So are you saying I don\u2019t love my wife?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: No, it\u2019s actually you<\/em> whose showing with your actions that you don\u2019t truly love your wife.\u00a0 It\u2019s not about me. It\u2019s about you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Sounds like you\u2019re making it about you.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: I\u2019d be lying if I said I wasn\u2019t affected by what you\u2019re saying. I\u2019m not a journalist, so yes my bias shows. I\u2019m an ex-wife whose husband claimed to love me, but nothing he did in his actions proved that love. So, yes I have a very hard time accepting the definition of \u201clove\u201d that people who hurt other people, intentionally mind you, just throw around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Long pause)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Do you have any other questions?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Yes. What happened when you got back home after your\nwife got that call?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: I walked in, she was sitting on the couch\u2026crying. I immediately felt like sh**. I remember just standing there, asking myself \u201cwhat have I done?\u201d That\u2019s actually when the question actually entered my mind\u2026\u201dwas it worth the risk?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: And was it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Of course not.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: You say \u201cof course not,\u201d but not too long ago you\nsaid that even if you had thought about the risks, it probably wouldn\u2019t have\nstopped you from cheating.  I\u2019m confused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: None of it makes sense. You\u2019re trying to make sense out of a something that doesn\u2019t! Is this interview almost over?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Yes. May I ask, do you want the interview over because of how I\u2019m making you feel, or is it those feelings of insecurity and vulnerability that\u2018s making you want to stop?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Both.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Ok. Well just tell me what ended up happening in a\nnutshell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: We talked for hours. I had never seen her like that, and don\u2019t ever want to see her like that again. Surprisingly she didn\u2019t kick me out. We decided to go to marriage counseling, and I agreed to do some counseling on my own to deal with my own sh**.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: And are you really committed to change, or did you\nonly agree to hold on to your wife?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: No, I want to be a better husband. I really did see how much I hurt my wife. She didn\u2019t\u2026she doesn\u2019t deserve that. No wife deserves that.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: That\u2019s great. Any words of wisdom for other\nunfaithful husbands out there that might read this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Not really. Each man has to come to his own moment of truth. I\u2019m in no position to give anyone advice about marriage. All I know is I love my wife and what I did to her, how she looked at me that night, how sometimes she still looks at me\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(he took a pause, cleared his throat; sounded as if he was\ngetting choked up)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: I just don\u2019t ever want to see that look again.\u00a0 I don\u2019t ever again want to be the reason my wife\u2019s heart is crushed. I really hurt her. I guess I can offer that to other husbands.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: What?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: If you have a good wife, a great wife, I promise you don\u2019t want to be the reason that the light goes out in her eyes. That\u2019s what I saw that night. I saw emptiness when my wife looked at me. The shame I felt was heavy. It\u2019s still heavy. I realized I can be better than a selfish ego-driven a**hole. My wife deserves better than that.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: You too deserve better than that. Carrying around\nthose feelings is not easy. I commend you for being willing to admit that. I\nreally and truly hope you and your wife can come together and make whole again\nwhat\u2019s been broken. It won\u2019t be easy. But I can tell you, if my ex had had the\nsame revelations at the time, we might still be together, so there is real hope\nthat you can get through this and come out on the other side together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: I hope so.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Well, this is the end of the interview. I really can\u2019t\nthank you enough for doing this for me, and for my readers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: You\u2019re tough (he laughs), but you\u2019re welcome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Bye<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Bye<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m sure you all can tell that wasn\u2019t an easy interview for me.\u00a0 I have a very difficult time with these new, mangled definitions of things that society tries to put forward in an effort to cast aside it\u2019s flaws. You don\u2019t get to change the definition of a pure word, such as love, so you can use it to hide who you really are. You don\u2019t get to change the meaning of marriage for the convenience of what you wish it to be. If you don\u2019t want to be faithful, then don\u2019t get married. If you don\u2019t really love a person, then don\u2019t string them along and tell them you do. It\u2019s that simple. Anything else just means you\u2019re being selfish, and though you recognize there will be consequences for what you do, you somehow manage to convince yourself that you\u2019re an exception to the rule and you won\u2019t have to face who you truly are as a person, and more to the point, as an adulterer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you cheat, you are messing with a person\u2019s heart and\nmind. You have made much more than just a \u201cmistake.\u201d You are making a choice to\npurposefully change who a person is. You are affecting their self-worth, their ideals,\nand their perception of not just you\u2026but themselves! If you believe you really\nlove a person, then at the very least, leave if you feel you cannot offer them\nthe fidelity of which they are worthy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I welcome your respectful feedback and comments on this, or\nany of my other posts. If you enjoy what you read on here, please subscribe. I\nthank each and every one of you for your support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be sure to \u201cLike\u201d my Facebook page so you can be a part of my LIVE photo shoot on Saturday, September 21, 2019! My photo shoot, with renowned photographer, Brad Olson<\/a> — whose photography artistry is in the archives of “Vogue Italia,” will take place from 8 a.m.-11 a.m. MST. I will be recording live beginning with hair & make-up at 7. I hope you\u2019ll join in for the fun. The shoot is for the back cover of my book, the Author\u2019s page on the inside, and to update my portfolio. \u00a0Hope to you see you there!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(*photo depiction does not represent identity of interviewee)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In last weeks unfaithful husband Interview – Part I, we left off where this husband was attempting to try and reconcile “loving” his wife while being a serial cheater. Let’s jump back in for my unfaithful husband interview – conclusion. Tisha: See that\u2019s where women have a HUGE problem.\u00a0 When a cheating partner professes to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":484,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[6,16,42,48,79,84,85,94,96,104,131,132,157,165],"class_list":["post-479","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-adultery","tag-betrayal","tag-divorce","tag-family","tag-husband","tag-infidelity","tag-interview","tag-loyalty","tag-marriage","tag-mistress","tag-relationships","tag-religion","tag-trust","tag-wife"],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/unfaithful-husband-conclusion-600x400.jpg","featured_image_src_square":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/unfaithful-husband-conclusion-600x600.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"LeTisha Jackson","author_link":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/?author=3"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/479","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=479"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/479\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/484"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=479"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=479"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=479"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}