{"id":464,"date":"2019-09-08T20:51:28","date_gmt":"2019-09-08T20:51:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/?p=457"},"modified":"2019-09-08T20:51:28","modified_gmt":"2019-09-08T20:51:28","slug":"unfaithful-husband-interview-part-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/?p=464","title":{"rendered":"Unfaithful Husband Interview – Part I"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This unfaithful husband interview – part I is very insightful. A question I, and myriads of other women, have wanted an honest answer to is given in this open, and seemingly honest conversation.\u00a0 That question is, “how can you say you love her when you\u2019re cheating on, and hurting her so badly?” His answer may not surprise you, but at least an answer other than, \u201cI don\u2019t know, I just do,\u201d is given.\u00a0 The man who offered this unfaithful husband interview, like the spouse from \u201cInterview with a Philanderer\u201d<\/a>, would only do this under the promise of complete anonymity, so he too will simply be known as \u201chusband.\u201d\u00a0 I hope this interview answers questions for you where perhaps you weren\u2019t able to get satisfactory answers from a partner who was unfaithful to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Hello, how are you today?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Hi, I\u2019m actually a bit nervous.\u00a0 I feel like I\u2019m being exposed to the world.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(We both chuckle)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Well I never tell people how they should feel, but I\nwill say you will be completely anonymous, so if that\u2019s part of your\nnervousness, please don\u2019t worry about that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: It\u2019s just that I\u2019ve never really talked about this to anyone so (he takes a very long pause)\u2026I guess I just feel vulnerable because I know you want absolute honesty for your readers and I wanna to be able to give you that, but I\u2019m so used to lying to cover up my own insecurities that I\u2019m not even sure I know how to tell the truth anymore.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Wow, now that\u2019s a starter if ever there was one.\u00a0 So, you mentioned three things I didn\u2019t expect to hear, feeling vulnerable, having insecurities, and doubts about your ability to be honest.\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about each of those.\u00a0 Perhaps if we dissect them individually, it won’t feel so overwhelming for you.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Ok, sounds good<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Let\u2019s start with how long you\u2019ve been married<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: 8 years<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: And are you still married?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Yes<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Does your wife know about the affair?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Affairs, and to be perfectly honest, she only knows about one of them, this last one<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Ohhhh, ok.\u00a0 So with how many women have you been unfaithful during your 8-year marriage?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: 5<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Why does your wife only know about the one?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Because the other woman called her and told her.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: How was the other woman able to do that? I mean, did\nshe confront her face to face? Or did she call her?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: She got a hold of my phone one night while I went to the bathroom.\u00a0 IDIOT!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(He YELLED the word \u201cidiot\u201d and totally caught me off guard)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Wohh, that was unexpected. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Sorry about that.\u00a0 Yeah, I still can\u2019t believe I was so stupid.\u00a0 If there\u2019s a cheaters manual that\u2019s number one!\u00a0 You take your phone with you!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Well in this crazy world, I\u2019m sure there IS a cheater\u2019s\nmanual, but more to the point.  I take it\nthat if this other woman hadn\u2019t contacted your wife, you wouldn\u2019t have fessed\nup on your own?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: To be honest\u2026probably not.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Wow this interview can go in so many different\ndirections.  Give me a second to figure\nout where to go with what you\u2019ve just told me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(I take a few seconds to gather my thoughts)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Ok, thank you for giving me a moment. How did you\nfind out the other woman was able to get your wife\u2019s phone number?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Well she didn\u2019t contact her right away.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I told her I was breaking it off that she went full bit** on me.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: So, that’s not surprising at all. The other woman who was good enough to sleep with, and cheat on your wife with quickly became the “bit**” because of the situation you got yourself into. Ok, tell me more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Well that wasn’t dripping with sarcasm was it?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: You’ll get used to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(We both laugh)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Well, you\u2019re not going to like me, but I was ready to move on to another woman, so I was breaking it off with that one. I thought we both understood that it wasn\u2019t ever going to be more than just a fling, but she started telling me she wanted to be with me, and that\u2019s when it\u2019s really time to get out. She told me she would call my wife and tell her if I left her. That\u2019s when I asked her how she planned to do that, and that\u2019s when she told me she got her phone number one night when I was in the bathroom.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Did she really think that blackmailing you was a way\nto your heart, and a way to keep you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: You\u2019re a woman, you tell me.\u00a0 Makes no sense to me either.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(We both give chuckle)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: So did you give in to her threat?\u00a0 I mean, did you continue on in the affair a bit longer to better plan your exit?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Hell no!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Did you not take her threat seriously?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: No I didn\u2019t. I wish I had.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Why do you wish you had?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Because she went through with her threat. She called my wife as soon as I left.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: How did you know she called as soon as you left?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Because my phone rang about 20 minutes or so after I left her place and I saw it was my wife.\u00a0 I just knew. I just felt something in me sinking. I just had a feeling this was going to be really bad.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: So how did that play out?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: I didn\u2019t answer, I couldn’t answer.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Why not?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: I needed time to get my thoughts together.<\/em><\/strong> I wasn’t ready to deal with the fallout.<\/em><\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Were you trying to figure out lies to tell you wife\nto cover yourself, or were you trying to steady yourself to tell her the truth?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Both. Of course any man\u2019s first instinct is to lie, but I also knew she had probably spoken with her and asked her questions and gotten answers that would make lying impossible.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: So did you decide you were going to be honest?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: I decided I would play it by ear.\u00a0 I needed to know what she knew first, so I called the other woman to find out what she told my wife.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Oh, that\u2019s interesting.  How did that conversation go?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: I was livid of course but I knew I couldn\u2019t go off or I wouldn\u2019t get any answers.\u00a0 I called her and just asked her why. She said she wasn\u2019t going to just let me treat her like a piece of trash I can just throw away. I asked her what she told my wife and she said she was sure my wife would fill me in and hung up.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Did you call your wife after that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: No, I went to a bar and had a couple of drinks first.\u00a0 I was so, I mean I was kind of in a fog. I never really gave any thought to what I would do if my wife ever found out I was messing around. All I could think about was what I was going to do if she left me.\u00a0 I thought about how disappointed my parents were going to be when they found out I was getting a divorce.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: You had already decided that your marriage was over?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: No, I didn\u2019t want a divorce, but my wife had told me even before we were married that if I ever cheated on her it would be over.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: So here\u2019s my question.  If you knew beforehand that you had a woman\nwho would not put up with that, why would you do it anyway?  Actually, I\u2019m sorry, I have to ask another question\nfirst.  Why get married if you weren\u2019t\nready to be monogamous?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Because she is an amazing woman. She is unlike any other woman I\u2019ve ever met.\u00a0 She is as close to perfect as a person can get. I knew from the moment I met her that she was the one. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: But you didn\u2019t answer my question.\u00a0 Why get married if you weren\u2019t ready to commit to total monogamy? Why choose to marry her and then utterly break her heart? That makes no sense. Didn\u2019t you know before you got married to her that you were not yet ready to be with only one woman? Why put yourself<\/em><\/strong> in that predicament?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(He pauses for a few seconds)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Ok, here\u2019s that vulnerability and insecurity that makes me really uncomfortable.\u00a0 <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Ok, take your time. \nYou\u2019re about to answer questions that even I can\u2019t wait to hear the\nanswers to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(He lets out an audible sigh)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: I did know I wasn\u2019t ready to settle down with only one woman before I married her. I knew that because I was cheating on her the entire time we were together.\u00a0 But I married her because I\u2019m a selfish a**hole. I couldn\u2019t imagine my life without her, and I wasn\u2019t going to let her go so some other man could have this amazing woman.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s clich\u00e9, but the honest answer is I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.\u00a0 I wanted the perfect wife at home that took care of me, and the other women who make my ego stay inflated. I need to feel needed by my wife, but I also need to feel wanted by other women.\u00a0 Does that make sense?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Without agreeing with what you\u2019ve done, I can say yes\nI understand the modality of what you\u2019re saying.  Your wife fulfills your needs, the other\nwomen fulfill your wants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Exactly! <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: So in order to fulfill your selfish desires, you were\nwilling to risk devastating the wife you say is as close to perfect as a person\ncan get.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: But we don\u2019t really think of the risk. I know that sounds stupid, but we don\u2019t. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Do you think if you thought about the \u201cwhat if\u2019s\u201d that that might have helped keep you from doing this type of stuff?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Maybe.\u00a0 Maybe for some, but probably not for most. If I had played out scenarios in my mind where my wife found out and left me, I\u2019m still not sure that would have been enough to stop me from cheating.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Why not?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Because when you\u2019re insecure and selfish, all you can think about is what YOU want, and what YOU need. At home I\u2019m a good husband. I take very good care of my wife. I give her anything she wants and needs.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: Except the one thing she really<\/em><\/strong> wants and needs, a faithful husband who really loves her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Oh I DO love my wife?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tisha: See that\u2019s where women have a huge<\/em><\/strong> problem.\u00a0 When a cheating partner professes to \u201clove\u201d their significant other. When did the definition of love change to include lying, cheating, degrading, disrespecting, shaming etcetera, etcetera? Why do you think you get to just throw around that word as if saying you love her makes it true despite the fact that you\u2019re doing the complete opposite of what love really is?\u00a0 How can you say you love her when you\u2019re cheating on, and hurting her so badly?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband: Because even though I messed around, there is…<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You’ll have to wait until next week to find out this husband’s rather interesting answer to this burning question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I certainly would love to have your feedback and\/or comments on this, or any of my other posts.\u00a0 Please be sure and read some of the real-life letters from wives to mistresses (and mistresses to wives) in my previous blogs.\u00a0 They are excerpts from my upcoming book, \u201cWoman to Woman: Letters from Wives to Mistresses.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve enjoyed what you\u2019ve read here on my site, please subscribe to this once-a-week blog.\u00a0 Thank you all so much for your support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This unfaithful husband interview – part I is very insightful. A question I, and myriads of other women, have wanted an honest answer to is given in this open, and seemingly honest conversation.\u00a0 That question is, “how can you say you love her when you\u2019re cheating on, and hurting her so badly?” His answer may […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":465,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[5,11,21,28,42,48,79,84,85,95,104,131,132,165,167],"class_list":["post-464","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-adu","tag-author","tag-book","tag-children","tag-divorce","tag-family","tag-husband","tag-infidelity","tag-interview","tag-marria","tag-mistress","tag-relationships","tag-religion","tag-wife","tag-women"],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/cheatinghusband-600x400.jpg","featured_image_src_square":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/cheatinghusband-600x600.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"LeTisha Jackson","author_link":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/?author=3"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/464","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=464"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/464\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/465"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=464"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=464"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=464"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}