The feeling of unity while doing this interview with a\nscorned wife was palpable even though it was conducted by phone. I reached out to some ladies I knew had\nendured the life-changing circumstance of being betrayed by their\nhusbands. Quite a few volunteered to\nparticipate. I thank you all. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My interviewee preferred to stay anonymous, but\nconsented to the use of her initials, TL. \nSo, here is part 1, of what might be a series, of a real-life interview\nwith a scorned wife:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
LeTisha: Thank\nyou so much for being a part of this for me, well really, for all of us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TL: \nThank you for choosing me.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: Let\u2019s start\noff with how long you\u2019ve been married.<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: We have been married for 22 years.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: Wow, that is forever by today\u2019s standards.<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: I know, and I expected it to be forever.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: Are you still married?<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: \nYes, I only found out about the affair about 4 months ago<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: Oh wow, so this is incredibly fresh for\nyou. I am so sorry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: Thanks. Yeah, I am still in my head\nabout it. Some moments I feel like I\u2019m\nin a nightmare, and all I have to do is just wake up.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: I am\nsure a lot of wives will relate to that. \nSo, how did you find out?<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: That disgusting whore had the audacity\nto call me. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: What? \nDo you mind telling me about it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: Not at all. That\u2019s why we\u2019re doing this<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n (We both giggled after TL said that, it was as if we\nneeded to laugh to prepare our hearts for the heaviness we were about to enter\ninto.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: I was at home, and my cell phone\nrang. It was a blocked number, so I hit\nignore the first time. Right when I was\nsat the phone back down on the table, it rang again. It was a blocked number again, and I don\u2019t\nknow why, but for some reason I answered it that time. I said hello, and I was fully prepared to go\noff on a telemarketer, and tell them not to call me anymore, but I heard a lady\u2019s\nvoice, and she asked is this TL. I said,\nwho is this, and she said Catherine. I\nsaid, why are you calling me, and how did you get my number. This b**** had the nerve to say, \u201cI will be\nthe one asking the questions.\u201d I wanted\nto hang up on her, but I couldn\u2019t. I\nsaid, look b****, you called me, so either you answer my question\u2019s, or this conversation\nends right here. So, she told me she got\nmy number from my husband\u2019s cell phone. \nI asked, why were you going through my husband\u2019s cell phone?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n (I interrupt TL for a moment, because I don\u2019t want to\nmiss any of the emotions of that moment)<\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: May I\ninterrupt you for just a second. I would\nreally like to know how you were feeling physically at the moment when you\nasked why she was going through your husband\u2019s cell phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: \nI was shaking almost uncontrollably from the moment she told me her name. In just the few seconds it took to get to the\nquestion about my husband\u2019s phone, I was feeling light-headed, and had sat down\non my sofa.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: Ok,\nthank you. Please continue with the\nconversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: \nSo, I asked why she was going through my husband\u2019s phone, but before she\ncould answer that, I asked her where they were that she was able to even get\nher hands on his phone. She said she\nwent through his phone while he was in the shower\u2026at her house.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: Oh my\nGod. What was that moment like if you\nremember?<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: I\nfelt like I was transported to another world. \nI remember exactly how I felt. I\nremember the room felt like it was spinning. \nI remember my heart feeling like it was going to beat out of my chest,\nand I remember wanting to cry but holding it in because I didn\u2019t want to give\nher the satisfaction. I also remember\nbeing cognizant of the fact that I was just staring\u2026I couldn\u2019t blink, I couldn\u2019t\neven speak for a moment. It felt like I\nwas having an out of body experience. \nLike I was watching a movie about my life, all in a matter of seconds.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n (I can hear TL\u2019s voice begin to tremble. I knew the tears were about to break through.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: I\nremember feeling that way as well when I got that phone call from my ex\u2019s\nmistress. Do you need to take a moment?<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: \nNo, I\u2019m ok. I don\u2019t mind if you\nhear me cry, but I wasn\u2019t about to let her hear me that way.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: I understand that. Now that I think about it, I never cried\nwhile on the phone with, or when I was face to face with that woman either. I guess that\u2019s the piece of our dignity we\nrefuse to give to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: \nExactly<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: So, this\nwoman has just told you that she got your number while your husband was in her\nshower. Was she speaking in the present\ntense, like was he there at that moment? \nI mean, it could have been days, even weeks before that that had taken place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: I assumed she was speaking about it in the\npresent tense. She was kind of whispering,\nwell not exactly whispering, but speaking low enough like she didn\u2019t want him\nto hear her.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: Did you ask her why she was calling you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: Of course. That was my very next question. I asked, so why are you calling me Catherine? She said it was because she wanted to know\nthe truth, and she thought the only way she would get it would be by calling\nme.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: Isn\u2019t it insane that these women want to know\nthe truth, when they are the ones involved in a lie? Adultery is an inherently deceitful act, so\nif they\u2019re having sexual relations with a married man, they are involved in a\nlie. What else do they really need to\nknow right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: Exactly. But I guess they feel like they might be\nbeing lied to as well, so they do what they need to do to find out the\ntruth. She said she wanted to know if we\nwere really separated like he had told her. \nI told her that I was not about to be questioned about my marriage by a\nhomewrecking whore. She said she didn\u2019t\nknow about me at first, like that made it any better.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTIsha: I know right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: She said she was not a whore, that she\nonly found out a couple of weeks before that he was married. I asked her how long they had been seeing\neach other, and she said for about 3 months. \nI said, so you\u2019ve known he has a wife for at least 2 weeks but you\u2019re\nstill messing around with him? She paused\nfor a long time which pissed me off, so I said, that makes you a whore! And then I hung up.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: What was going through your mind after you\nhung up on her?<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: \nI just remember thinking I couldn\u2019t wait for him to get home. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: You didn\u2019t immediately call him?<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: Ohhhh no, I didn\u2019t want to give him any\nadvanced notice so he could try and think of lies to spew before he got\nhome. I wanted to watch his face while\nhe tried to come up with the lies. I\nwanted to see his initial reaction when I told him to pack his s*** and get\nout.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: I understand. \nHow were you feeling, what were your thoughts?<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: I remember looking over at our wedding\npicture on the mantel. I went over to\nit, and that was when I just lost it. I\ncrumbled to the floor. I have never\ncried so hard in my entire life. I felt\ndemolished. I felt unloved. I felt dirty. \nI felt alone. My heart was\nliterally aching. Tisha it hurt so bad;\nI can\u2019t even put it into words.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n (We are both crying at this moment)<\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: TL I can only say\u2026you were not alone. I remember having all those exact same\nfeelings and emotions. My heart hurt so\nbad that I thought I was going to have a heart attack at any moment. You\u2019re right, there are not descriptive\nenough words to express the pain. I\u2019m so\nsorry you are going through this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: \nThank you. The pain is still raw.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: And it will be for a while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: I appreciate you telling me that. I mean, I know my friends and family mean\nwell, but all the \u201cstay strong\u2019s\u201d, and \u201cyou\u2019ll get through this,\u201d and the \u201cjust\nmove ons,\u201d don\u2019t help. If a person hasn\u2019t\ngone through it, they just don\u2019t know really what to say. But you telling me the truth, that the pain isn\u2019t\njust going to go away, helps me deal with reality.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: Well,\nreality is what it is for us. We have to\nfind a way to live with the pain, not from day to day, but moment to\nmoment. I told you it\u2019s been about 9\nyears since what I went through, but at moments, the pain to my heart can feel\njust as fresh as it did all those years ago. \nI hope it\u2019s not that way for you. \nI just want you to know that it takes real time to learn to deal with\nthe emotions of it all. It doesn\u2019t just \u201cgo\naway,\u201d and trying to be strong is very different from actually being<\/em>\nstrong. Strength will come from crying\nwhen you need to cry; screaming when you need to scream. Believe it or not, you might even gain\nstrength in those moments when you let him hold you through the tears. We all get strength in different ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: I agree 100%.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: Are you able to return to that moment when you\nwere on the floor?<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: I remember just rocking back and\nforth. I was hugging the picture like it\nwas my lifeline. I just kept having\nflashes of our wedding day, and the part where he told me he would never, ever do\nanything to lose my trust, or to break my heart. He promised me forever. I don\u2019t know how to explain it, but I was\nhurting, and I was livid all at the same time. \nI wanted to take the picture out of the frame and tear it up, but I\nfound myself just staring at his face, and looking at my own face because I was\nso happy in that picture. I felt beyond\nbetrayed because I thought we had a wonderful marriage. I couldn\u2019t imagine what I had done that would\nmake him do something so awful to me\u2026to us.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: Isn\u2019t it crazy how we almost immediately turn the\nbetrayal on ourselves? We wonder what we<\/em><\/strong>\ndid wrong that brought it about. <\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: Yeah, because isn\u2019t that why they\ncheat? They aren\u2019t happy with what their\nwives are doing, or not doing, so they seek to get it elsewhere right?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: I think that that\u2019s a justification for why\nthey cheat. However, the truth of the\nmatter is, they cheat because they\u2019re selfish, and they\u2019re seeking to fulfill a\nselfish desire. <\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: I know that is true, but I admit that I\u2019m\nstill very much in the self-blaming head space. \nI think that\u2019s normal.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: It does seem to be the norm, at least that\u2019s\nwhat I gathered from the many letters that wives sent to me for my book. It\u2019s unfortunate that we blame ourselves for what\u2019s\nlacking in a lying cheater, but it\u2019s honest and helpful that we admit we do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: That\u2019s what this all about right? Women being honest, not only with themselves,\nbut with each other so that we can try and let each other know what we go through\nso that whore\u2019s like that Catherine can see the pain that they cause other\nwomen. I really hope your book does well\nTisha. It\u2019s about time we have a real\nconversation about how awful women treat each other. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: Thank\nyou, that is exactly why I decided to finally write it. If we don\u2019t look out for each other, then all\nis lost in our woman to woman dynamic. If\nI may, let\u2019s go back to those moments after that phone call ended. Do you know how long you stayed on that\nfloor?<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: It seemed like forever. It could have been a few minute\u2019s, it could\nhave been hours. All I know is that the\nsadness I felt was deep, and I knew I would never be the same. I even had moments when I thought, well,\nhoped, that it was not true. I pulled\nmyself together because I realized that I had not even heard his side of the\nstory. For all I knew, that could have been\na woman who just wanted my husband, and she was just trying to break us\nup. I needed to keep thinking that in\norder to pull myself up off that floor. \nI began to feel guilty for having believed some stranger, and not giving\nmy husband of 22 years the benefit of the doubt.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: And let me guess, that guilt heaped on top of\nthe fear that what she said was true was a whole new level of being overwhelmed\nwasn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: \nOh my gosh yes! <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n (We both laugh)<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: When I got up off the floor, I went to\nthe bathroom to rinse my face. I felt\nrelief for the moment realizing that all of what she said could be a complete\nlie. My head and heart were in total\nconflict with each other. My heart\nbelieved it was true, my head was being more rational. While I was drying my face, I heard the\ngarage door open. I almost fainted. My heart fell in my stomach. I didn\u2019t know how I was even going to broach\nthe subject. I didn\u2019t even know how to\napproach him. Our norm was a kiss and a\nhug anytime one of us returned home. I\nremember looking in the mirror, and telling myself\u2026\u201djust don\u2019t lose it before you\neven get the question out.\u201d I turned off\nthe light, looked at myself in the mirror again, and headed back to the living\nroom. I remember shaking all over, and\nfeeling like I wanted to throw up.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: Because I had question\u2019s I didn\u2019t really\nwant the answers to.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n LeTisha: Yeap, many\nof us know that feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n TL: \nMy last thought before I saw him was, \u2018am I going to end my marriage if\nhe tells me it\u2019s true?\u2019 I saw him, he came\ntoward me to kiss and hug me, and I\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s it for now readers.\u00a0 You will have to wait until next week to read the conclusion of my interview with a scorned wife.\u00a0 Please be sure and read some of the real-life letters from wives to mistresses in previous posts.\u00a0 They are excerpts from my upcoming book, \u201cWoman to Woman: Letters from Wives to Mistresses.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019ve enjoyed what you\u2019ve read here, or in any of\nmy other posts, please subscribe to this once-a-week blog. Thank you for your support.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The feeling of unity while doing this interview with a scorned wife was palpable even though it was conducted by phone. I reached out to some ladies I knew had endured the life-changing circumstance of being betrayed by their husbands. Quite a few volunteered to participate. I thank you all. My interviewee preferred to stay […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":388,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[6,42,48,79,84,86,96,104,110,111,131,132,150,165,167],"class_list":["post-387","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-adultery","tag-divorce","tag-family","tag-husband","tag-infidelity","tag-interviews","tag-marriage","tag-mistress","tag-new-author","tag-new-book","tag-relationships","tag-religion","tag-support","tag-wife","tag-women"],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/concept-of-betrayal-with-lonely-woman-600x400.jpg","featured_image_src_square":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/concept-of-betrayal-with-lonely-woman-600x600.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"LeTisha Jackson","author_link":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/?author=3"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/387","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=387"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/387\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/388"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=387"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=387"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/letishajackson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=387"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}