Letter from a Mistress to a Wife

Melanie,

It took me a long time to decide whether or not I wanted to write this letter. I decided to do it because I don’t like you and for now the only way I can express my feelings is through this letter.

You’re a hypocrite! And you’re NOT better than me!  You met and bedded your husband while he was married! So for you to go around telling people that I’m nothing but a trashy whore is utterly ridiculous.  Why is the relationship you had with him while he was married, any different than the relationship I have with him now?  I can’t wait to ask you that question when he leaves you and I’m his wife.  That IS going to happen.  You already know your marriage is over, but you still sit on your high horse convincing yourself that he loves you. The only reason he hasn’t divorced you is because of those kids.  You play them like game pieces you can use to win his devotion, but that’s not what kids are for, and you’re still going to lose him.  I’m not going to pretend like I’m better than you.  I am “the other woman” at the moment, but I have no shame about it because he has assured me he’s leaving you very, very soon.  I’m also not going to call you the same disrespectful names you’ve called me, that doesn’t solve anything, and it only makes people seem childish, so you need to stop that because it only makes you look bad. You’re about to find out how you made his last wife feel when he left her for you.  I have to say it again, you’re not better than me.  We both met him while he was married, so please stop talking bad about me.  Everyone knows you too were “the other woman” at one time.  As soon as you finish talking about me to other people and walk away, they basically say what I’m saying – you’re a hypocrite who is about to get a taste of her own medicine.  I do want you to know I will take very good care of your kids when they’re with us.  Once you’re no longer bitter about the divorce, I hope we can all act like adults for their sake.  That’s all I wanted to say.

Tara

Another disillusioned woman.  This mistress doesn’t feel bad about her affair with a married man simply because his current wife got him the same way.  See, that’s why I wrote my book, because it’s not really about the man in the middle per se, it’s about the lack of respect we have for one another.  The husband will continue his cycle of looking for greener pastures; it is only when women no longer make themselves available to married men that the cycle will stop. We can’t stop married men from wanting to have affairs, but what we can do is not allow ourselves to become anyone’s “other woman,” or “side-piece” as is commonly called today (that is so demeaning to women if you ask me).

Furthermore, this lady didn’t mention the children to show a sense of empathy, she did it for one reason and one reason only.  She wanted to dig the knife in a little deeper, to make the wife feel even more pain.  The pain that we women are willing to inflict upon each other is saddening.  Moreover, the willingness some women have to help break up a family is mind-boggling.  When we have a family, we will fight to the death for it. However, when it comes to the want of a man, more poignantly, a married man, the fact that another family is being torn apart, and that children could be part of the casualty, couldn’t mean any less.  Where do our sympathies and logic go when our eyes become set on a man who is already spoken for?  Where do our rationale and common sense disappear to when physical desires become aflame for a taken man?

I’m not sure if this woman thinks she is finally this man’s “forever” wife, or if she is realistic enough to realize she’s just his next game piece; but what I do know is that this lady’s problem is not the cheater she is bedding, it’s her lack of respect for herself, for the sanctity of marriage, and like his current wife, her utter lack of loyalty for “Girl Code.”

You’ll read more about, and have much more respect for “Girl Code” when Woman to Woman: Letters from Wives to Mistresses is released.

As always, I welcome your comments and feedback on this letter, the topic of “woman to woman” respect, or anything expressed in my other posts.

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